Through the eye of a needle
‘Hope springs eternal’. From An Essay on Man, a poem published by Alexander Pope in 1734.
Without hope we tend to fall into the trap of doing depression, anger and other such un-resourceful emotional states. Recognising that the leap from less than helpful ways of being to really being who and what you dream about is sometimes a gap just too large to do in one step. At this point many people give up and wonder what the point is.
Where did we ever begin to think that life owed us a living without effort? I mean, I understand that life can be easy and that our unconscious mind is programmed to look for the path of least resistance, and yet there are some decisions we must make which mean great change, mean losing the ego and mean holding onto a dream and using stepping stones and markers to take us there.
In a wonderful blog I found via a Twitter earlier in this week called Escaping Mediocrity Dave Navarro a product launch coach and marketing expert tells the group about how to overcome these challenges of when life becomes less than easy.
You’ll already recognise that we have thoughts and ideas coming to us all day everyday. Many of those thoughts aren’t our own – have you ever found yourself wondering ‘where did that come from’ and I also wonder if like me, you have a drawer full (it used to be a shoe box) of ideas to go back to?
These thoughts float into our conscious mind, via our unconscious mind from the ether, from the Universe/spirit, collective conscious – whatever name you’d like to give it. You’ll have noticed, have you not, that some resonate more than others and these are the ones we take action on. Many of the rest are either ignored, don’t charge us with the same positive emotional enthusiasm or we might like them but feel they are beyond us, our capabilities, our skill or who we believe ourselves to be.
What needs to happen to these thoughts and our ideas is that we pass them through one of each of our bodies – spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. If there are blocks in any of these areas, then our project, thought etc doesn’t happen. Often this can be a self fulfilling prophecy or it can be called a failure by many.
Our chakra system – I don’t have time to explain that all in this blog post, but I will have a very specific blog about them put up soon – is a very useful tool to help us determine exactly where and which body is out of alignment with our work, our life, our projects.
Very often those on a spiritual path, miss out the bit about passing the thought through the physical body. Very often people are drawn to connecting with Source, God, the Universe and ignoring what’s going on on the ground. It’s long been advocated that connecting with Source is the answer to our problems and yes, that’s where we will ultimately find one kind of peace, total love and the ability to switch off and hand over our problems. It’s a very different matter if your bank account is empty, you aren’t taking care of your health, your family (immediate and larger) and your relationships.
A tree can only grow when it has strong roots deep in the earth. Yes, it has a purpose to grow as big and tall as possible, reaching way high up into the sky, some even stop us in our tracks and we gaze in awe at the size of the trunk, the impact it has on humanity is immense. I wonder just how big its roots are – how far below do they extend?
As above, so below is another often heard phrase. So, when we wake up and realise that we are humans on the physical plane of life itself, drawing source energy from Mother Earth,we just might like to get ourselves rooted in order that we can reach up even higher and have an even bigger impact with the work we do.
I may be teaching granny to suck eggs, however I’m quite sure I’m not the only one who has listened more to the upstairs and given scant recognition to downstairs.
Feed Yourself …. The Truth
When you begin to feel the stirrings of discomfort what do you do? Do you recognise when something’s out of sorts – be it emotional, mental or physical – never mind spiritual? Do you just ignore it, plough more energy into it, or do you actually stop, take stock, and work out what’s going on with the intention of changing it?
There’s an old saying ‘Do what you always did and you’ll get what you always got’. I don’t know about you but I’ve never met anyone who thinks that’s a good adage to live by unless, of course, the doing’s working well for you!
I’ve found through application, hard work and some very sore heads (banging them on brick walls) that it’s a wise person who will admit that something’s got to go – yikes did I actually just admit to that?! The something might very well have served them beautifully at one stage of their life and then when the lesson’s been learned, it’s time to learn a new one, so more change is in order. It’s kind of an acknowledgement of distance travelled if you like!
What I’ve also found is that even if you’ve already made one huge change in your life, or maybe even more than one, that it just doesn’t stop there – and most especially if you’re a relatively quick learner!
It can make you look as if you don’t have a clue where you’re going. Folk might look askance and say things like ‘I thought you decided ‘x’ was your path’ and your response is along the lines of ‘Yes, that’s right it was, and now it’s time for something different’!
There is a word of caution here of course, and I’ve fallen prey to it myself over the years – that of running away from the presenting problem and the required learnings. In essence what that means is sometimes you might find yourself thinking that you need to change tack and you might make the change too soon and for the wrong reasons.
Gulp! So how do we know if we’re running away from something which needs to change or changing because it’s time to change and work towards something which will serve us?
As you might have guessed, I’m going through the process of change in quite a dramatic way just now and have received words of wisdom from many friends, family and colleagues. Now you might be forgiven for thinking that just because I have the counsel of some very astute and worldly wise people in my life that their perspective is going to be right.
The trick to all change is for the individual to make their own judgement, look within themselves for the nuggets of power that they have given away. Ultimately, the whole of our existence boils down to finding those nuggets of power which allow us to turn things into gold. My wisest friends ask questions, they spot where I hide from my truth, they dig deep and they show respect and care for my growth – their perspective is not part of the equation.
In my mind the only way to keep growing is :
- to feed yourself the truth of what’s working or not working
- define and remind yourself of the reason you’re doing it
- question yourself as to whether your reason is still a priority and value
- be being willing to change as required, even to stop
It takes constant calibration – of your internal body, your emotions, the external world around you and the thoughts which occupy both your unconscious and conscious minds.
Measuring my success by my sense of truth, freedom, purpose, and joy is by far the best measure of distance travelled.
What’s the next nugget of power which you need to reclaim to allow you more growth and freedom for your soul? You’ll read about mine as I continue to create it 
Define Yourself
Define or divine?
I’m wondering if you too are sitting there wondering where to even start being able to define yourself? I heard a question on Twitter the other day which asked what, how and who are you. As I began to imagine my answer, I saw things which were quite a surprise.
Have you ever had the need to define yourself in that way? It’s a surprise also to ask the question for what reason are you as you’ve described? This one might bring up a whole load of reasons for being the person you are and not the person you want to be or thought you were.
The other thing we can pay attention to, if you’re so inclined, is awareness that we can choose at any given time to change our identity. Sometimes that comes as a shock. Sometimes our identity feels like it’s the only thing we can hang onto in a world of constant change. The answer of course boils down to whether you’re happy with what you’ve created. After all, you are the only person who thinks your thoughts, does what you do and feels the way you feel, so the responsibility is yours.
I’ve been going through a period of redefinition … again!! My old website The Divorce Coach disappeared from the web at the beginning of January. I hadn’t noticed as I was otherwise engaged on a very intensive training course in France. When it was drawn to my attention yesterday, I took a step back and wondered whether or not to reinstate the site or whether it was a good time to let it go and allow me to redefine the work I do without a divorce label.
Other labels we often wear are ones like Mum, Dad, mother, daughter, father, son, etc etc and those are in addition to the label for the job we do. Recently I’ve noticed how many people are not able to define what they do so easily as they may well be involved in various business ventures, each requiring different skill sets and abilities.
I wonder too if this is the time to being willing to question more? The Divining Femininity website and workshops are exploring what it is to be female. It’s a different meaning for each of us and even just within the 4 group co-ordinators we are finding very different understandings.
Maybe I’m alone but for me 2010 is about re-defining me, my life and what I’m about. This takes divining - a deeper exploration, an asking and an open-ness to receive insights I don’t know yet, the willingness to step into the dark unknown.
For women who want it and get it!
In conjunction with Amy Palko, Gill Taylor and Vena Ramphal, I’m involved in a very exciting new venture. This year sees us explore together and with clients what it means to be female, how to be a woman and feminine in 2010 and how many different types of feminine personas there really are and how society can make it confusing.
Word of mouth saw 5 spaces being grabbed before we even had a venue booked – would you like one of the few remaining spaces?
More about what we are doing:
‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.’ ~ Anais Nin
The snow and ice starts to melt into the cold dark earth and the verdant shoots begin to push their way up to the surface. New birth, new growth is stirring as newborn lambs cavort in the fields and baby birds cheep in the branches above. The time of the Daughter is now. Her lithe, supple limbs dance across the land as she feels the youthful strength exude from every pore, every fibre, every cell, every strand. Her heart is unblemished, unbroken, and yet it is also completely and utterly open, unguarded. She exists at the top right hand quadrant of the female cycle, the female year.
In this, our inaugural Divining Femininity workshop, we aim to celebrate the start of this cycle through a magical mix of goddesses, astrology and yogic and tantric passion coaching. We want to invite you to join us for a 2 day workshop in the heart of Edinburgh, 20/21 February, to seek the divine feminine in the cycles of contemporary lived experience of women of all ages, stages and backgrounds. Explore with us the wonder of your femininity as we tell stories, journal bodies, invoke goddesses and chart celestial paths.
The Divine Feminine is calling: it is time for the bud to blossom!
You will find that the weekend is experiential which means that you as an individual will learn from yourself, the group and the hosts – Amy, Gill, Jackie and Vena. As co-ordinators of the workshop, we will ensure that the space is held to enable each of the small group to get what they need from the time spent with us.
To make sure this happens we will schedule a 30 minute coaching call with Jackie for each of you, both pre and post the weekend to really hone in on your requirements. You might like to think whether you have any issues and the greatest question which you would like to have answered. She will ask you for your perspective on being a female and what you would rather it be. After the weekend, you will be able to explore the answers you got, the questions which have since come up and get help with any integration which may be needed.
You will leave the weekend feeling refreshed, centred, more aware and with clarity of what feminine means to you.
You will be receiving:
- Two full day workshops
- One hour of 1:1 coaching
- A specially commissioned Female Year Journal
- Chakra map
- Body journaling instructions
- Breathing exercises
- Mp3 of guided meditation
- Personalised Astrology Chart
To join us on this adventure, you can choose now if you would like to book all 4 workshops** – each will be different and build upon the previous ones, and each can be taken as a standalone weekend or whether you would rather book them closer to the time.
The cost for a single weekend is £250
The cost to book all 4 is £900 – with the £100 saving being deducted from the 4th workshop in November.
Morning and Afternoon tea and coffee will be provided
** Future workshop dates for 2010
11-13 June; 17-19 September; 26-28 November
If you want to know more please just email me – contactjackiewalker at gmail dot com
homage to my hips by Lucille Clifton : The Poetry Foundation [poem] : Find Poems and Poets. Discover Poetry.
POEM
homage to my hips
by Lucille Clifton
these hips are big hipsthey need space tomove around in.they don’t fit into littlepetty places. these hipsare free hips.they don’t like to be held back.these hips have never been enslaved,they go where they want to gothey do what they want to do.these hips are mighty hips.these hips are magic hips.i have known themto put a spell on a man andspin him like a top!Lucille Clifton, “homage to my hips” from Good Woman. Copyright © 1987 by Lucille Clifton. Reprinted with the permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd.
Source: Good Woman (BOA Editions, Ltd., 1987)
No matter the size of your hips, own them and recognise what power you have.
The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The Invitation
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and AuthorIt doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
© 1995 by Oriah House, From “Dreams Of Desire”
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0
Please click here for more information about Oriah’s book.
That kind of person would do me fine! Or at least someone with the intent of working towards it
Do Not Rely On Sat Nav
I’m staying in a place which I’m not accustomed to yet – I’ve got the hang of where I am, it’s comfortable and I know how to survive. I can find the shops and put fuel in the car.
I was asked to drive to Toulouse last night to collect Mick and Debbie, their sat nav was all set up for the airport a long time ago – all I had to do was switch it on and it would get me there. Easy peasy.
It wouldn’t switch on – it’d run out of battery and didn’t seem to accept the charge which was coming to it through the charger.
Sitting in the driveway, I had no idea where the motorway was. Oops!
Relying on something or someone else can mean that you stop thinking for yourself. You stop working out solutions and start to blame others or things for your inability to problem solve.
I remembered that I’d seen signs for Toulouse earlier in the day – it would mean a longer trip, but that was irrelevant, the longer trip would head me where I was intending to go.
As I cruised along the motorway, I had to trust that there would be signs to show me when my next turn should be. Amazingly, I arrived at the airport with 10 minutes to spare.
If at first your way is blocked, try another route, know where you’re headed and know that the signs will appear when you need them.
Desde mi ventana…
Sent to heaven with love – this demonstrates to me how important it is to be creative and express ourselves. Particularly in art, craft, song, dance etc.
Pride isn’t Ego but Love
I wonder how often I’ve shut love off thinking it was something else.
It came as a huge shock that my love was hammering at my chest and I was calling it pride.
Pride can be an ego based emotion which I wasn’t sure about. Love however knows no such delusion.
What if when people say things like ‘I’m not proud of what I’ve done’ they mean I’m not in love with what I’ve done.
What if it’s ok to have pride in what we do, what we achieve and pride in our families. Is that not love.
That’s it no more hiding pride for me – it’s pure love and gratitude.
