Jackie Walker

Creating a learning space for me, for you and for them

Is it Any of Your Business?

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There are only three kinds of business – my business, your business and God’s business.  Make sure to keep your nose in the right one.

Oops shouldn't have looked

How often do you go worrying about someone else’s issues when you would be better spending your time dealing with your own?  How often do you march in with an answer for someone’s problems and while they might listen and nod and appear to take it in, they then reject it out of hand and do the complete opposite?  Does that get frustrating for you?

The thing is we all must tread our own path through life and even though the ability to learn from others is within us all, until the person is ready to change tack and stop doing what it is that creates their issue or start doing something which will improve their lot, then there’s not a lot anyone can do to create that change.  It is entirely the responsibility of the individual.

Ipso facto is there any point in you expending energy on someone else?

Many clients I have seen have struggled with this – they care about something, someone and until they grasp the fine line between controlling and offering suggestion – they don’t get it.

The easiest way to understand it is to realise that it is not your responsibility, the outcome is theirs.  Yes, there may be consequences which as an observer are pretty obvious and which you might share in order to give perspective to the issue, but the result is in the hands of the person whose business it is.

Retaining your  interest and releasing the attachment to the outcome is all you can do.   Even if the consequence could mean death.

Could you start to create an environment where you are known for your willingness to give counsel, to offer perspective, to listen and to question, where you are approachable and supportive of the person and yet unattached to their results?  Would you be willing to let people make their own decisions?

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Written by Jackie Walker

July 22, 2009 at 10:31 am

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