Jackie Walker

Creating a learning space for me, for you and for them

Define Yourself

with 5 comments

Define or divine?

I’m wondering if you too are sitting there wondering where to even start being able to define yourself?  I heard a question on Twitter the other day which asked what, how and who are you.  As I began to imagine my answer, I saw things which were quite a surprise.

Have you ever had the need to define yourself in that way?  It’s a surprise also to ask the question for what reason are you as you’ve described?  This one might bring up a whole load of reasons for being the person you are and not the person you want to be or thought you were.

The other thing we can pay attention to, if you’re so inclined, is awareness that we can choose at any given time to change our identity.  Sometimes that comes as a shock.  Sometimes our identity feels like it’s the only thing we can hang onto in a world of constant change.  The answer of course boils down to whether you’re happy with what you’ve created.  After all, you are the only person who thinks your thoughts, does what you do and feels the way you feel, so the responsibility is yours.

I’ve been going through a period of redefinition … again!!  My old website The Divorce Coach disappeared from the web at the beginning of January.  I hadn’t noticed as I was otherwise engaged on a very intensive training course in France.  When it was drawn to my attention yesterday, I took a step back and wondered whether or not to reinstate the site or whether it was a good time to let it go and allow me to redefine the work I do without a divorce label.

Other labels we often wear are ones like Mum, Dad, mother, daughter, father, son, etc etc and those are in addition to the label for the job we do.  Recently I’ve noticed how many people are not able to define what they do so easily as they may well be involved in various business ventures, each requiring different skill sets and abilities.

I wonder too if this is the time to being willing to question more?  The Divining Femininity website and workshops are exploring what it is to be female.  It’s a different meaning for each of us and even just within the 4 group co-ordinators we are finding very different understandings.

Maybe I’m alone but for me 2010 is about re-defining me, my life and what I’m about.  This takes divining – a deeper exploration, an asking and an open-ness to receive insights I don’t know yet, the willingness to step into the dark unknown.


Written by Jackie Walker

February 3, 2010 at 11:12 am

5 Responses

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  1. Nice. I suspect you’ll enjoy “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle – an interesting and intriguing exploration into the question, “Who are YOU?”


    February 3, 2010 at 1:00 pm

  2. Thank you for popping by. I enjoy Eckhart Tolle’s work but haven’t yet read A New Earth, I’m sure it’ll jump off a shelf at me now though!

    Jackie Walker

    February 3, 2010 at 1:11 pm

  3. i think almost every year of my life has been about redefining who i am, i’ve never been completely satisfied with who i am, but perhaps i’m doing it the wrong way and i need to figure which things i can change and which i need to accept.

    what how and who?

    I’m a typically untypical young man, who’s ready. I’m the question you were waiting for.


    February 3, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    • Oh lots of questions there and maybe you’ll enlighten me to the question you think I’m waiting for too.

      There’s a great deal to be said for regular re-defining and if we were totally satisfied, I believe that we would stunt our growth – we’re on this planet to learn how to improve, the learning of which allows us to grow and develop and move on through pain.

      You can only change your attitudes, your negative emotions, your thoughts, your strategies, your behaviours, your values, your opinions, your interest, your beliefs and your willingness – mind you that’s a pretty comprehensive list – I’m sure you will find something in there which will be help you become more satisfied when you change it!

      Dis-satisfaction very often comes from where we are and focussing on what’s not there rather than what we want there – so another couple of things which can change are focus and intention!

      Jackie Walker

      February 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm

      • how unlike me to have not come back here to check for a reply.

        currently my disatisfaction is all relative to things i’m scared of, that i want to love instead. I’m literally writing a blog post about it now, I’d love to hear what you have to say about it once I’m done.

        The question you were waiting for was what how and who are you?

        as for now, the question is, what next?


        April 19, 2010 at 7:24 pm

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