Jackie Walker

Creating a learning space for me, for you and for them

Another hurdle to jump

with 7 comments

Have you ever noticed that things which for others are apparently innocuous can be huge for you?

This week I’ve been persuaded to join a gym.  There’s a lot written about people who join gyms and then stop after the first burst of enthusiasm – a bit like folk who take up tennis when Wimbledon’s on, or folk who make New Year’s resolutions which last all of a week or for some maybe a month.

I tend not to do things which I’m not committed to, so it was a great surprise to me yesterday when I found that I’d actually agreed to join the gym.

Bizarrely, I like being fit and I like to do a lot of walking.  The thought of displaying myself and my ineptitude in front of other people is something I balk at.   The really uncomfortable bit for me though is being seen in tight clothing.  I’ve got my baggy t-shirts looked out to avoid such an eventuality.  The swimming pool might have to wait a bit longer until I’ve summonsed up the courage to step out with my head held high.

All of this stems from being a very overweight (13 stone) and unfit teenager with a pair of boobs which were oggled at thanks to the fact that I could put Dolly Parton to shame.   Surgery at the age of 18 put paid to the physical aspect of the horror as my mountains were made into molehills, however it’s amazing how long the emotional and mental trauma can last.   Given what I do, I’ve worked on most of these issues in the past and as I’ve said before … we have to clear things at all levels – spiritual, mental, emotional and physical before we are truly free of whatever was holding us back.

I’m well aware that 2010 is my year of clearing the physical and joining the gym is one huge leap towards owning my body and being happy with myself in it.

Something which crops up a lot is other folk’s attitudes – because  of the work I do and the size I am – a petite 6-8, people automatically assume that I should be comfy in my own skin.  There are raised eyebrows, sharp intakes of breath and almost a ‘how dare you attitude’, particularly from women.

So tomorrow lunchtime will see me at the gym for an induction session.  I’ve asked for help from my good mate Garth Delikan, The Lifestyle Guy to give me a programme which won’t kill me in the first week.  My friend and business partner will be encouraging me, and as she has a weight/fitness goal to achieve in a short timescale, we’ll be comparing notes.

As always, you only get out what you put in – what I want to achieve by joining the gym is the pleasure of feeling fit, the joy of being more in touch with my body, the sense of achievement which I know will come quickly and overall, the fact that at 50 I’m closing more doors in one year than I’ve ever done in my life by addressing my comfort zones.


Written by Jackie Walker

June 2, 2010 at 5:32 pm

7 Responses

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  1. Such raw honesty, how very typical! I know you’re not keen on goals but in this instance I think one or two would be a real motivator. Always be “in the moment” at the gym, I know you embrace this philosophy but focus on exactly what you are doing and why, that will make the whole experience much more pleasurable. I can’t wait to hear how you’re getting on!

    John Standaloft

    June 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    • Lol, yes you got me and goals in one! I have commitment and intention and I know the direction I’m going in. To set a goal I’d have to have some form of yardstick to base it on. I’m not trying to lose weight or squeeze into jeans/dress! I’ve no basis on which to set a fitness level, my feeling is that committing to regular exercise is probably enough.

      The lovely @leawoodward suggested I set a date for giving up my baggy clothes. She tells me that it’s important to see the changes the exercise is making to one’s shape. I get that … and again, I’ve no idea what’s realistic, but she has hit the nail on the head about the main goal I need to set!

      Jackie Walker

      June 2, 2010 at 6:11 pm

  2. Good for you Jackie! I wonder if you’ll end up loving it? I have a feeling you’ll be raising your goals and refuse to be beaten by the stomach crunching contraption, oops I mean machine!
    Can you do a few sit ups for me whilst your there?


    June 2, 2010 at 6:10 pm

  3. Not less than a few surprising turns of direction this year, eh, Jackie?

    I’m impressed. Speaking form one who up until a year or so ago trained every day, and who has now become so comfortable in her own skin she had to up the size of pants. Ouch…

    Look forward to the ‘series’ :o)

    Julie Gibbons

    June 2, 2010 at 6:26 pm

  4. I truly hope that you get the full benefit from the exercise regime Jackie. Get those happy chemicals pumping around your bod and I’d be surprized if you would want to go back to not doing the gym. Absorb the feelings to the max, more~over, have fun, fun and…fun 🙂

    Evie Gordon-Longley

    June 3, 2010 at 1:47 am

  5. Hey Jackie dear,i respect your goals, cause we are not getting younger anymore lol,but still can affect of how we are getting older winkl:)
    I hope you have strenghts to carry on as long as is needed:)

    Ps.is in that photo you winkl:)


    June 11, 2010 at 11:22 am

    • No that’s definitely not me in the photo!

      Jackie Walker

      June 13, 2010 at 7:21 pm

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