Off Piste or Piste Off?
I don’t know if you ski or not? I don’t anymore after a rather dramatic exit from the ski slopes in the year dot when I took out 3 ligaments in my right knee and although they were replaced twice in one year, that kind of piste is not one I venture onto any longer!
But even if you don’t ski, you’re sure to be able to bring up images of fresh snow and have feelings of total pleasure at being the first to cut a path across the virgin landscape knowing that you’re marking the ground with your own footsteps, going where no man has gone before.
Or perhaps you’d be like my daughters who hate anyone to spoil the fresh snow, they want to preserve it for posterity, or at least until it melts. They like the pristine, the unclaimed, the unsullied.
What I wanted to talk about was how may clients I get who have suddenly realised that they’ve been busy making sure that they are doing the right thing by everyone else, that they’ve done very little for themselves.
In essence they’ve stayed on piste all their lives, doing what they need to do to keep everyone else happy, making sure that they follow the footsteps laid out, they don’t make any new marks. The trouble with this is that eventually they get piste off and begin to feel like a common dogsbody, a door mat and they start to get angry.
A little problem here because they don’t know how to express themselves and they don’t know what will happen if they stop being ‘nice’. Yes that’s what they’re scared of that some folk will not think that they’re nice. They’re scared of being disliked if they stop doing everything for everybody. So, they continue to be nice, they continue to let others take advantage of their ‘gentle giving’ nature and inside they are getting frustrated, piste off and their heart is no longer in their giving.
I read this somewhere but I can’t find it to quote it properly, so this was the essence –
‘I’d rather be disliked for being me than liked for being someone else’
If you were really you and could be absolutely guaranteed that you would be liked for yourself and not the person you think you ‘should’ be, who would you be? What would you stop or start?