Jackie Walker

Creating a learning space for me, for you and for them

Posts Tagged ‘commitment

Caution: It’s Receiving Time!

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There’s a saying which goes ‘be careful what you wish for as you may get it’.  It’s true!  In Hawaii, the shamanic way of life called Huna has one of my favourite phrases, and I’m sure I’ve quoted it here before –

Where your attention goes, energy flows

That’s why when you keep focussing on what you don’t want, you get it.  It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.  The word ‘not’ is ignored by the unconscious mind.  The unconscious mind is the driver behind everything that arrives in your life … not your conscious mind, and not always your actions.  Although obviously we need to take action it should be towards what we want as opposed to away from what we don’t.  There are learning stages, and we soon get used to it, though can be forgetful at times!

I’m just reminding myself at the moment to be open to receiving what I’m looking for.  I started a practice at the beginning of the year with Jamie Ridler’s Full Moon Dreamboards after I heard my good friend Amy Palko wax lyrically about them.  I find the creative side of them a bit tricky, but today (which is full moon day) I was directed to Mosaic Maker where I downloaded a wonderful tool which helped me through the process.  If I’d had more time, I’m sure I could have played with the pictures a bit, cropping and creating on Picnik to make it even more meaningful, but for my first attempt I’m really pleased.

It’s in the shape of an ‘R’ to denote Receiving.  I wanted a reminder to myself to open my arms, my heart and keep my focus on what I want from and in life.  The images mean things to me, and may not mean the same to you – that’s why images work so well – they bypass the conscious thought and create and store meaning and feeling which helps create what you are looking for.

Although you can’t see them I know for example that these are also in the collage somewhere hidden by some of the other photos –

Look at the way water just falls with no fear, it just keeps flowing.  How that great big bear can give such wonderful warm hugs.  How those dancers perform with such grace and dedication.  The love from the angel is inspiring me to give more.  Two big splashes have got to be better than one!  A shoe made of money … reminds me of cobblers’ children and I must look after me and mine first.  And lastly, who could deny the sunshine the positive glowing golden effects it gives us, nurturing and nourishing our very existence.  Butterflies, remind us how transient it all is and why we must make hay while the sun shines 😉

I’m open to receiving what I’ve asked for and am aiming for with open arms, expecting magic sparkles to be created and jump from my own hands!  Nunca Mas is Spanish for never again and that’s a sharp stick which I popped in there just in case!!

Written by Jackie Walker

July 26, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Easy? No thanks I opt for difficult!

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How does the word easy rest with you?  It’s a strange word with so many connotations, many of which aren’t always positive!

Easy lover … be warned Phil Collins would tell us and don’t fall for an easy lover who will steal your heart and you won’t even feel it.  That’s really not a positive outlook is it?

Easy rider … didn’t quite end in the easy flamboyant lifestyle the road tripping guys intended

We are so often ingrained that anything that’s easy is bad for us.  We must work hard, play hard and love hard.  We need to suffer to succeed.

Is that necessarily true?  It’s not the working long hours or putting in effort which is the issue, it’s the word hard!!  Is your effort making your life easy … if not, for what reason are you doing it?  Are you even enjoying it any more?  Sometimes we feel we are suffering and yet given the options we would rather choose the life we have than make changes to live it differently – in those cases, stop moaning and recognise your choice.

On Twitter this morning, Davina McKail (@dreamwhisperer) suggests that to give in is to give inwards to yourself.  And yesterday she noted that to give up on what isn’t working for you – is not failure, we’re surrendering and handing over to our higher power.

There’s been a bit of a theme running along these lines recently as Sally Asling (@surreylets) wrote an article about letting go in business and comparing it to the bit in the Titanic where Rose has to let go of Jack to save herself.

When you notice a theme running in your life, things you see or hear – music on the radio, tweets which catch your attention, articles which jump out at you – it’s time to listen up and think about where in your life you would be wise to tune in and actually hear the alarm clock which is trying to wake you up to your own situation.

If you’ve been making things more difficult for yourself by holding onto a  ‘Jack’ equivalent, if you feel that giving in or giving up is failure, maybe it’s time to recognise what positive step could actually be made if you did give in or up.

Sometimes you need to say ‘enough is enough’ or ‘I have done all I can here’.  Is that failure?  Not in my book, it’s actually being willing to make life easier.

Adopt the mantra – easy, easy, easy!  Question your decisions, look at your options, which one is easy and which one will you now take?

Written by Jackie Walker

July 14, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Hitting the spot between the eyes! #215800

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I’m deliriously happy today, yes really.  All the trouble that surrounded me last week has gone, well at least it feels that way.

I had a conversation which would have been impossible  only a week ago.  I felt calm, centred and grounded.  I came from a place of willingness. At the other end of the phone, there was a tight voice, and as the conversation developed, it relaxed, became gentler, and the words flowed.  There was space, on the line, for creating peace.

Hitting The Spot

I got to wondering about the times in our lives when nothing hits the spot.  D’you find that you become disenchanted and bored with the contents of your fridge.  The food you’ve been eating which once fulfilled you, is now boring.  You yearn for something else, something to get your teeth into, to excite the taste buds and maybe even test your culinary skills.

I wondered then if perhaps we get bored with some of the interactions we’ve had with others and whether that affects us similarly.  I know that this particular relationship is one which is too often trying, it’s monotonous in its predictability.  It was time for something new.  It just took a new recipe, and maybe  a new shopping list of skills.

Peace … Again

Whatever it took, I’m going with the ease of today, and not resting on my laurels that it will continue unaided, it needs to be tended and nurtured.  There’s much pain to undo, there’s a whole new relationship to be built, it might or might not be possible.  My dearest hope and wish is that it doesn’t go back to the monotony of bitterness.  If it were all up to me, I could guarantee it.

This is the challenge I have.  If I’ve learned my lesson, the previous troubles should now fall away.  What if the other person has lessons to learn which makes it continue?  Or is it really going to be true that it won’t bother me anymore, it will be water off a duck’s back and that alone is what will create the peace?  Ah, yes I think that’s it.

It’s hit the spot between the eyes, the third eye!  I see it all clearly now.

Wow, this is even better than I thought at the beginning of the post and it’s nowhere near 800 words, but I’m done for today – my creation was in my conversation, live outloud writing!

Written by Jackie Walker

June 18, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Days 3-5; Variety Act – Fitness and Writing

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Obviously I won’t be doing them simultaneously, or will I?  My guess is that it’s quite likely … although not physically writing you understand, more like allowing the ideas and content to flow in.

Today my great friend Amy Palko highlighted a new writing project to get involved in.  It’s being organised by a lady called Bindu Wiles who seems to have had one of those extraordinary lives, challenging might be an understatement, and she’s found her way through.  This project has a twist, and I love twists!

For 21 days, we’ll be doing 5 days of yoga a week and 800 words of writing per day.

This has come at just the right time because at the weekend I didn’t do any exercise.  Hence this is Days 3-5 all wrapped up in one blog!!   Against my better judgement, God gave me rain, and more rain and yet more rain.  My intended bike ride in the Borders was a wash out and so I let go of the notion and decided that the weekend could be rest days, unless it was sunny and I wanted to get out.

It’s a strange thing isn’t it when you commit to something and you start making excuses like – it rained, this is meant to be pleasure, I need a break occasionally.  I pondered those and wondered if I was repeating an old pattern.  But … what I learned was that I’d let go of the need to wear a hair shirt, to beat myself up for not doing something and I knew that I’d be back to the gym.  And as if by magic, here now is a chance to add even more variety to the act of getting fit – and it keeps me attending my blog at the same time …. what a stroke of brilliant luck!

This afternoon, I’ve been back and done my full workout.  It was a bit of a techno challenge on some of those machines knowing which handle to pull and where to put it.  I worked out that if it felt awkward it was in the wrong place.  The only time that wasn’t the case was for the ‘Abductor’ …. I tell you, it’s nearly as evil as it’s name suggests and exercises those bits that Heineken can’t reach on your inner thighs.

For the days when folk are feeling a bit burned out, or in my case, done enough exercise for one day, Bindu kindly includes something called Savasana (the corpse pose)!    This is a resting posture done at the end of yoga practice in a prone position on the floor for 20-40 minutes listening to relaxing music.  That sounds just perfect for days like today when a bit of peace and stillness is needed instead of more stretching and exercising.

For the writing part of the project, in addition to keeping these blogs going, I’m using this as the perfect opportunity to enter the Guildford Book Festival Short Story Competition which is being sponsored by the lovely Tom Evans, The Bookwright.  This short story is just about ready to burst forth into reality and when it’s complete, it’ll be available from our site Ugli Mediation – there are a few twists and turns in it which make Ugli the ideal platform for it given that the work we do involves transforming ugly situations.

Written by Jackie Walker

June 7, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Day 2 – Fitness or Scenery

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No pain (ok just a few twinges in my abs) after my first day in the gym – which possibly means I didn’t do enough!

I considered going back to the gym and pushing myself just a bit further, but it was such a lovely day and I really fancied a decent walk in the fresh air.  I live at the very edge of the Pentlands and can walk up into the hills from my house.   So at lunch time, I headed out of the door and up the hill behind the house.  It was beautiful and the walk I’d intended being for 30 minutes turned into an hour and a half!  It wasn’t a hill walk per se, but it did include a long and steady upward climb which satisifed the cardio element I so need to get on top of!

There’s nothing like nature and fresh air to give you a new lease of life and energise you.  I didn’t take my camera as I was going for exercise not to enjoy the scenery.  I kicked myself for being so black and white about it!  It’s perfectly possible to do both isn’t it!

Amongst the gorse bushes were sheep, many of whom were attempting to shed their thick woolly fleeces to get escape the heat of the sun.  It’s so easy for us to just slip layers on and off, my fleece was tied round my waist!  Bits of fleece hung on the gorse like dull tinsel, but for the most part, the sheep were looking hot and bedraggled as their fleeces were coming away in clumps.  Must be shearing time soon.

Walking back home via Poet’s Glen was a joy.  Dropping down through the woods, and back along the Water of Leith, it felt very Dingley Dell like!  I used to do walks like this every day – when I had a dog.

As it’s already Day 3 (I forgot to post yesterday), my plan is to get my bicycle out and go for a wee cycle in the Borders when I pop down to visit my Mother. And yes, I will take my camera with me.

Written by Jackie Walker

June 5, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Another hurdle to jump

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Have you ever noticed that things which for others are apparently innocuous can be huge for you?

This week I’ve been persuaded to join a gym.  There’s a lot written about people who join gyms and then stop after the first burst of enthusiasm – a bit like folk who take up tennis when Wimbledon’s on, or folk who make New Year’s resolutions which last all of a week or for some maybe a month.

I tend not to do things which I’m not committed to, so it was a great surprise to me yesterday when I found that I’d actually agreed to join the gym.

Bizarrely, I like being fit and I like to do a lot of walking.  The thought of displaying myself and my ineptitude in front of other people is something I balk at.   The really uncomfortable bit for me though is being seen in tight clothing.  I’ve got my baggy t-shirts looked out to avoid such an eventuality.  The swimming pool might have to wait a bit longer until I’ve summonsed up the courage to step out with my head held high.

All of this stems from being a very overweight (13 stone) and unfit teenager with a pair of boobs which were oggled at thanks to the fact that I could put Dolly Parton to shame.   Surgery at the age of 18 put paid to the physical aspect of the horror as my mountains were made into molehills, however it’s amazing how long the emotional and mental trauma can last.   Given what I do, I’ve worked on most of these issues in the past and as I’ve said before … we have to clear things at all levels – spiritual, mental, emotional and physical before we are truly free of whatever was holding us back.

I’m well aware that 2010 is my year of clearing the physical and joining the gym is one huge leap towards owning my body and being happy with myself in it.

Something which crops up a lot is other folk’s attitudes – because  of the work I do and the size I am – a petite 6-8, people automatically assume that I should be comfy in my own skin.  There are raised eyebrows, sharp intakes of breath and almost a ‘how dare you attitude’, particularly from women.

So tomorrow lunchtime will see me at the gym for an induction session.  I’ve asked for help from my good mate Garth Delikan, The Lifestyle Guy to give me a programme which won’t kill me in the first week.  My friend and business partner will be encouraging me, and as she has a weight/fitness goal to achieve in a short timescale, we’ll be comparing notes.

As always, you only get out what you put in – what I want to achieve by joining the gym is the pleasure of feeling fit, the joy of being more in touch with my body, the sense of achievement which I know will come quickly and overall, the fact that at 50 I’m closing more doors in one year than I’ve ever done in my life by addressing my comfort zones.

Written by Jackie Walker

June 2, 2010 at 5:32 pm